Act I

(scene: The master bedroom on a leisurely Sunday morning. A french door looks out on the porch and the carport. Lionors is at the french door, looking out; Michael and Ginger are lounging en deshabille with the Sunday paper).

Lionors: Mom!

Ginger (getting off bed and looking out window): What is it, honey?

Michael: It's kitty patrol, keeping the other cats at bay.

Lionors: Mom, look, in the yard! There's another cat! (in the yard, Mr. X struts)

Ginger (soothingly, petting Lionors): That's OK, honey; he's out there and you're in here.

Lionors (wailing): Mo-om! He's in my ya-ard! Make him go away-ay!

Mr. X (sauntering onto the porch): Hmm, what have we here? A little indoors kitty, locked up inside the house. Aww, poor indoors kitty. I will now demonstrate my contempt for you by rolling over and batting at leaves on your lawn.

Lionors (hisses): Mo-om!

Dr. White (emerging from under Michael's car in the carport): Not so fast, Mr. X! This yard is my territory. I'm the only cat that gets to taunt the poor little indoors kitty.

Michael (coming over to investigate): Uh-oh.

(Dr. White and Mr. X arch backs. Hisses, if any, are not audible to the audience)

Lionors (now extremely upset) Mo-om!

(Ginger attempts to stroke Lionors' back to soothe her, but Lionors hisses again, then, surprised and abashed, butts up against Ginger by way of apology).

Ginger: I have to go do something about this.

(Exit Ginger, to the kitchen, with Michael following)

Act II

(scene: the kitchen, with a french door opening to the rear, towards the carport. The bedroom porch is not in view, but the strip of grass between the carport and the porch is clearly visible. Ginger is headed towards the door with blood in her eye)

Ginger (opens door and peeks out): You! Cat! Shoo!

Mr. X: Madam, in your state of deshabille, you cannot hope to enforce your demands. Furthermore, I have successfully intimidated Dr. White, or perhaps Dr. White has fled at the sound of the key in the door. I do not care which, but in any case I am master of this yard, and I will not be dislodged by you.

Ginger (fuming): I will not be disrespected by a cat!

(Exit Ginger. She returns momentarily in full-length robe and shoes so that she can walk on the crushed gravel driveway, and storms out the door. Michael peeks out around the door)

Mr. X: A hasty retreat may be in order! (he ducks under the porch)

Lionors (from in the bedroom): Mo-om!

Ginger (satisfied): Harumph!

Act III

(scene: in the bedroom again: Michael, Ginger and Lionors are ensconced on the bed with the paper and the remnants of breakfast).

Lionors (excited): Dad, didja see mom? She ran off those other bad cats. She's my hero!

Ginger (contentedly petting Lionors): Hera, dear, hera. And you need to get used to seeing those other cats, honey. Remember how Daddy and I said there were eight other cats in this neighborhood? Those two were numbers nine and ten.

FIN