[Jim is quite confident about his character's prospects]
Jim: Ah, the joys of being underestimated. Delve should rule this joint in two months, maybe less.

[The Crazed Axe Murderer Thread That Would Not Die ...]
Ginger: Fred: Starwind checks her own quarters out. Have Swallow's belongings been removed? Has Starwind's own stuff been disturbed? I'll let Seeker check under the bed for the crazed axe murderer ...
The GM: No, and no.
Dave: Was there a "no" to that crazed axe murderer bit too? (Potential victims need to know. :>)
Jeremy: Is this the part where Starwind and Seeker and a cheesy love scene, mostly for the purposes of showing Starwind naked, and then during the heat of the moment the crazed axe murderer comes out? ;)

[Considering whether an intra-crew melee will break out in the tiny guest quarters]
Dave: Of course the captain won't have anything to say about a fight. She'll be unconscious before she knows what hit her. :0
Ginger: Whoever started it should also hope that she's unconscious before she knows who hit her too ...
Steve: Right guys! Let's get the story straight, as soon as Starwind comes round, we all point to the biggest dead body and chant, "He started it!" :-) If no one actually dies, we blame it on Behemoth...or just stay quiet when Delve blames Behemoth. :-)

[Player sarcasm in action ...]
Seeker: ... Unless Amber's enemies are also sons and daughters of Amber ...
Jim: Well, that wouldn't make sense. ( . . . )
Steve: Well of course not. It would be as daft as saying that the sons & daughters of Amber's enemies founded Amber.

[Sometimes it isn't so great to have your FTF fellow-players in the same game online, too]
Dave: Consider my breath to be laden with bait.
Jim: As one of your FTF gaming partners, I do!

[Not all Amber-tales are stolen from Shakespeare and Malory]
Fisher: It might be worth talking to Llewella. There's one story where she gets really heavily involved with a 101 spotted hunting dogs. 101 is Ambertale-speak for "a lot of dogs". Anyway, in the story she doesn't like them at all. On the other hand, she doesn't come out of it very well but it still might be worth a chat.
Jeremy: groan Llewella DeVille, Llewella DeVille... if she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will!

[Jim is not sanguine about the crew's chances]
Steve (busily planning provisions for the trip into Arden): Will we be needing some sort of shelter, fires, etc.?
Jim: No, I believe dogs eat their meat raw.

[The GM has a hearty laugh at the expense of the players]
Fred: What you guys need is a few days' vacation...

[Delve tries valiantly to obey Starwind's injunction to be diplomatic, and can't quite manage]
Starwind (to Archer and Fisher): Does either of you gentlemen have any way of finding Behemoth?
Delve: We could try accomplishing something constructive. That's always worked before. Um, sorry, Starwind.

[Seeker has a plan]
Seeker: If we all go in as a group, then the reincarnation of Julian will know this [that sie is Julian] by the fact that they're the only one still alive.

[Planning a Behemoth-hunt ... or are we?]
Starwind (to Seeker): Are you sure that we want to stake all on this single throw of the dice?
(to Fisher): Don't answer that.
Fisher: I was just going to add that we might get lucky!
Steve: If anyone sniggers at the double-entendre....

[More planning]
Starwind: My question is, is Delve's plan feasible? And if not, how else can we locate Behemoth?
Dave: We could always try yelling insults and look for the smoke.

[Why Walks-with-Puma should go looking in the river for Delve]
Steve: Let's face it, if you want a crewmember with experience of pulling Behemoth from a watery grave, WwP's your man. :-)
Tony: [blush] Of course, Delve may never forgive Puma for that. :)

[Starwind commits a major oops]
Starwind: I have no interest in claiming any throne.
Fred: You do know, that it's traditional in Amber games, for the first person to say this to find him or herself on the throne within the month...
Steve: And in our inverse Throne War, Starwind's been the loser all down the line. ;-)

[Ginger learns from Jeremy's mistakes]
Ginger: I honestly wouldn't count on finding edible food in Arden. I will not say why on open channel because I don't want to inspire Fred. ;-)

[The GM terminates a rather uninteresting discussion on what the crew will carry into Arden]
Fred: Righto. There's a mule loaded up with stuff all hayed up and ready to go.

[We didn't know Delve had one!]
Delve: I've exceeded my limit for offending people today.

[What passes for flirtation around here]
Seeker (to Starwind, as he's leaving for a long late-night chat with Fiona): Don't wait up.
Starwind: Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

[Amber's disrepair causes concern in the weight-conscious adventurer]
Fred: The chairs creak a bit when you descend.
Dave: I didn't think Seeker ate THAT much at dinner. :>

[Things that make you go hmmm]
Fiona: Brand presents His Majesty with a conundrum. On the one hand, he sees Brand as the greatest evil Amber has ever known, a corrupter, a demon. He fears him. On the other hand, Brand is the last practitioner of some of Amber's most sophisticated sorceries. He dare not kill him until those skills have been passed on.
Seeker: And our part in all this? Do you know anything about that?
Fiona: I wouldn't be surprised if His Majesty were to choose one or two of you to learn those mysteries before too long... after he has found out who would be most likely to serve him.

[You know you're in Amber when ...]
David: YEP FOLKS WE BE IN AMBER!! Set competition amoung the crew, and let us wonder what happens to those who arn't so usefull!
Jim: What about, um, kings who aren't so useful?
Ginger: I knew we were in Amber when some of us decided the current Captain wasn't so ... useful. ;-)

[Steve continues his insidious plot to get Starwind named Queen of Amber]
Steve: I see the future in the cards! We dethrone Martin and replace him with our own Queen Starwind.
Ginger: What part of the word "no" do you not understand? (disgruntled and knowing that continuing protests against this horrible fate only increase the GM's chance of doing something to bring it into effect)

[One more way we knew we were in Amber]
Ginger: So what she's telling us is that we have to destroy the universe as we know it to save the universe; or we can save the universe as we know it and ... destroy the universe! Oh, yes, we're definitely in Amber, as if anybody had any doubts left... ;-)
Jim: Not a tough choice though, is it? These people are damned surly.

[Jim (sort of) compliments Turtle, and Olof (sort of) returns the favor]
Jim: Delve doesn't like Turtle right now, but I love what Olof has done with the character--he's taken what could've been a stock Deanna Troi-type simp and turned him into something of a dick. It's a stroke of genius. And just the kick in the ass that Everway can use. Golf clap for Olof, everybody!
Olof: Well, really I must return some praise here. Delve is the first greedy character I have seen that has not become a parody.

[Score one for Seeker in the question game]
Fiona: What do you hope to accomplish here?
Seeker: All right. The legends of Ancient Amber I have grown up with are myriad and contradictory. I could go on at length about what it all means, but I don't want to bore you. I am here seeking the truth behind the myths.
Fiona: Simple curiosity? I suppose it goes without saying that untruth is against the rules as well. No matter... the truth will out.
Seeker: Then I'll give you this one for free. What is true today may not be true tomorrow.

[Dave and Steve flaunt their Amber credentials]
Steve: I suppose this wouldn't be the moment to mention that in my AD&D playing youth I ran a lot of assassins. ;-)
Dave: Yeah, but how many of them were character assassins? (The true Amberite Assassin class) :>

[Ginger has developed appropriate Amberite cynicism]
Fiona: There are lesser mysteries for those whose sorcerous proclivities are more limited... mysteries that do not require Brand's cooperation.
Ginger: And for those of us who don't earn [Martin's] trust, there's always the dungeons of Castle Amber, or a random toss onto the middle of the Pattern ...

[Olof can interpret Fisher's cards, too]
Fisher: Well, Behemoth's in little current danger. Though I'm not sure just where and I can't see a clear route to him, he shouldn't come to any harm in the near future.
Olof: Bad news! This means we will not find him in the near future or we will lose Delve in the process. ;-)
Jim: I'm confused. The second possibility is bad . . .

[Delve's inner child pops into view for a moment]
Dave: Seeker wishes to be [mounted]. He also suggests Starwind and Turtle would be able to move faster should they be on horseback.
David: Tempest opts for horseback too.
Jim: Delve wants a pony! Delve wants a pony! Er, Delve too decides to go mounted.

[Ginger digs herself deeper and deeper]
Ginger: Queen of Amber: a fate worse than death.

[Tony is confused, but not necessarily as confused as the GM]
Tony (as Walks-with Puma): I didn't know I was doing poorly previously ?
Fred: You're on dry land now, on your own two feet, and in the legendary Sphere of Amber. Of course you're doing better. :>
Tony: And about to go into unknown woods, following an unknown person, towards a weird hut, with tree-eating hellhounds, eye-pecking spy hawks and possibly a D&D assassin in our midst and Fisher's cards to guide us. Yep, never felt better :)

[Discussing who could take down Walk-with-Puma]
Dave: Tendon slashes? With our metal swords, no doubt. The man's a regular comedian. :>
Tony: This from the man with a whip and the skill to perform surgery with it ...
Dave: Don't move, I'll have that appendix out in a snap. :>

[David is an optimist about who we'll find in Arden]
David: Could be worse... The hut could have Chicken Legs.

[The GM needs some retroactive continuity]
Fred: I can't believe I forgot Corwin AND Eric!